I have been doing some research to help a friend out who, in my opinion, is going through a time of physical and emotional abuse. The physical abuse, however, isn’t quite the textbook example. I assert that the physical abuse is stemming from the emotional abuse. She is going through major emotional abuse and as a result, she is fatigued, drained, can’t sleep, can’t eat, can’t concentrate, you name it. Without all these things, a person’s physical well-being takes a toll. In doing my research, I came across some very helpful Scriptures that I think will assist her.
First, we must examine what God says is the way a man should treat his wife. That’s pretty simple to figure out. A husband must pattern the love for their wife as Christ’s love for His church (Colossians 3:18-19). Verse 19 simply but profoundly says “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh to them.” Real spiritual leadership involves service. A husband must put aside his own interests and care for his wife. It’s really quite simple if you look at it in its context. Verse 18, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” has often been misinterpreted by those who have been in relationships that have been based on abuse. This passage isn’t telling the wife that it’s okay to willingly accept the abuse because Paul says that she must submit to her husband. Many women feel that because of this passage it’s okay. The passage is saying that if a wife views herself as Christ’s disciple and her husband’s equal in Christ then she will submit to her husband the same way Christ submitted himself to God. Being equal in Christ will dramatically alter the way the two disciples relate to each other as husband and wife.
Common Scriptures that are read at weddings is 1 Corinthians 13. If you’ve been to a wedding once or twice, you’ve probably heard them. 1 Corinthians 13 talks about nothing but love, what it is and what it is not. Verse 5 shows, at least in this case of abuse, what love is not. “It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” Abuse is rude, self-seeking, hateful (angered), and in most cases, stems from a “record of wrongs.” It is clear that abuse, emotional and physical, are not in line with the Word of God.
A final note on this subject is repentance. It is my view that once you’re saved, you’re always saved. However, I do believe that you MUST always exhibit the true Christian walk. Repentance can be defined as changing your thoughts and actions and seeking forgiveness from the one you have wronged (God). Continuously sinning (abusing your spouse in this case) without repenting is one of those areas that I believe makes you submissive to Satan (Luke 13:3). You need help. You need God! If physical and/or emotional abuse has been going on for any period of time in a relationship, both the husband and wife need to seek spiritual and in some cases, mental/medical assistance.
It is my constant and genuine prayer that if you’re in a relationship that is filled with emotional and/or physical abuse that divine intervention takes place through God. If you are fearful for your life and/or your child(ren)’s life (lives) then I encourage you to seek help immediately. Please don’t submit to this behavior, that is not what God wants!
I am now and will continue to pray for all of you!
In His Grace…
First, we must examine what God says is the way a man should treat his wife. That’s pretty simple to figure out. A husband must pattern the love for their wife as Christ’s love for His church (Colossians 3:18-19). Verse 19 simply but profoundly says “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh to them.” Real spiritual leadership involves service. A husband must put aside his own interests and care for his wife. It’s really quite simple if you look at it in its context. Verse 18, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” has often been misinterpreted by those who have been in relationships that have been based on abuse. This passage isn’t telling the wife that it’s okay to willingly accept the abuse because Paul says that she must submit to her husband. Many women feel that because of this passage it’s okay. The passage is saying that if a wife views herself as Christ’s disciple and her husband’s equal in Christ then she will submit to her husband the same way Christ submitted himself to God. Being equal in Christ will dramatically alter the way the two disciples relate to each other as husband and wife.
Common Scriptures that are read at weddings is 1 Corinthians 13. If you’ve been to a wedding once or twice, you’ve probably heard them. 1 Corinthians 13 talks about nothing but love, what it is and what it is not. Verse 5 shows, at least in this case of abuse, what love is not. “It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” Abuse is rude, self-seeking, hateful (angered), and in most cases, stems from a “record of wrongs.” It is clear that abuse, emotional and physical, are not in line with the Word of God.
A final note on this subject is repentance. It is my view that once you’re saved, you’re always saved. However, I do believe that you MUST always exhibit the true Christian walk. Repentance can be defined as changing your thoughts and actions and seeking forgiveness from the one you have wronged (God). Continuously sinning (abusing your spouse in this case) without repenting is one of those areas that I believe makes you submissive to Satan (Luke 13:3). You need help. You need God! If physical and/or emotional abuse has been going on for any period of time in a relationship, both the husband and wife need to seek spiritual and in some cases, mental/medical assistance.
It is my constant and genuine prayer that if you’re in a relationship that is filled with emotional and/or physical abuse that divine intervention takes place through God. If you are fearful for your life and/or your child(ren)’s life (lives) then I encourage you to seek help immediately. Please don’t submit to this behavior, that is not what God wants!
I am now and will continue to pray for all of you!
In His Grace…