I just finished my exhaustive homework for the week so I should relax, right? Or perhaps get a jump start on next week's assignments and reading? Or, read an email I received about how an organization in Spokane, Washington, Spokane City Advance, has taken the bold and courageous stance to place "fatherlessness" as their number one societal issue in the city. I applaud their decision and for some reason after reading that email (about 6 hours ago), I became oddly passionate about the fatherlessness problem we have in America.
I'm a dad. I think I'm a pretty decent one, too. I've seen my wife and kids 26 days out of the last 382, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad dad, right? I don't think so. Our family made the decision together to keep them rooted in North Dakota while I went to Nebraska and it was one of the toughest decisions we've ever had to make. Our decision and the subsequent process to purchase a house were less stressful. But, alas, we're not here to talk about me and my insignificant problems.
Probably one of my top five movies is 'Courageous.' If you're familiar with Christian movies, you are likely familiar with the Kendrick brother's father-centric movie. I like the movie so much, in fact, that I either watch it or have it playing in the background, at least once a week. Good thing it's a digital copy, otherwise it would probably be worn out by now. Courageous' overall theme is to create in men, fathers in particular, a God-honoring life so they can lead their families well.
Alex Kendrick, the director and co-writer of the film summed up his prayer for the movie saying, "Our prayer now is that this movie will raise the standards for fathers worldwide and point them to Christ."1 I think that's a laudable prayer. Of course, as Christ followers, we want to bring our children up with a fire in their belly, hungry for God. Honestly, I really don't know how well we do at that. I'm not about to find a bunch of statistics and shoot them at you hoping one or two of them will stick. What I can tell you is that without God, fatherhood is a whole lot harder. A lot harder. I think my time in Nebraska (will be a total of about 17 months) would be impossible to manage if I didn't have faith in God.
Drug and alcohol abuse, sex trafficking and domestic violence are epidemics in this country. Fatherlessness is also an epidemic. The definition of epidemic (in case you were wondering) is: a widespread occurrence of an infectious disease in a community at a particular time.2 I know what you're thinking...fatherlessness isn't an epidemic, it's not a disease. You're only right on half of it—fatherlessness isn't a "disease" classified by the CDC, but it is nonetheless a disease and I will explain why.
A child growing up without a father is more likely to: be poor or financially unstable, suffer from emotional and behavioral problems, get in trouble with the law and end up in jail, have a teen pregnancy and be sexual active, be subjected to an increase of child abuse and maltreatment, use and abuse alcohol and drugs, be prone to childhood obesity, and decrease their educational success.3 That's a whole lot of not so good stuff going on for the fatherless child, right? So what am I really trying to say here? Well, the epidemic of fatherlessness (yeah, I said it...it's an epidemic) can be resolved in two stages: discipleship and mentorship—simultaneously.
What is discipleship? Well, if you've ever read my blog, you know I am passionate about discipleship; therefore, my definition is: a committed follower of Jesus Christ who unashamedly spreads the Gospel message. I think that's pretty self-explanatory. Mentorship is equally self-explanatory, "someone who teaches or gives help and advice to a less experienced and often younger person."4 So, what am I saying here? Well, we have to share the Gospel message with those men who are struggling to be the dads God has called them to be (see Deuteronomy 11:18-21; Proverbs 22:6) and at the same time, provide them the support and guidance they need to become God-honoring fathers and husbands (or future husbands). What about children who are growing up in fatherless homes? The same rules apply, although you'll be discipling and mentoring them to grow up to become God-honoring fathers and husbands. Okay, now you're wondering how to go about eradicating the fatherlessness epidemic. I'm proud of you.
If I start to think like someone who is without Christ, I could honestly say that the last place I would go for assistance (if I felt it was necessary) would be the church. In the words of Jesus, "Go!" (Matthew 28:19). Someone without Christ is not likely to enter the church unless they are invited. Therefore you, disciple maker, must go to them. Don't start freaking out now! C'mon, Jesus went to the people, why can't you? If you're a little nervous about it, I recommend picking up a copy of Bill Hybels' book, Just Walk Across the Room.5 I'm serious when I tell you that this book will absolutely change the way you look at discipleship. Another great book I read while in Bible college is True Discipleship: The Art of Following Jesus,6 by John Koessler. They're both great books, but I would recommend, if you can only get one, grab Bill Hybels' book first. Whatever you do, please don't allow your church to start a committee or board so they can talk about how bad this problem is. No! We already know what the problem is and how bad it has become. It's time for solutions: the soldiers of Jesus Christ to start marching the streets and ministering to the people.
If you're a church, toss the standard Sunday sermon to the side and talk about how you and your congregation are going to minister to the single moms, absent dads, and father-absent kids. And please, don't leave the parents who are together, whether married or otherwise, out to dry. They need your discipling and mentoring, too.
The big take away from this rambling mess is that fatherlessness is an epidemic. Everyone knows it and very few are doing anything about it. I'm proud of the Spokane City Advance for taking this societal issue by the horns and doing what they can do to eradicate it. Will you do the same?
In Christ,
JM